What are we trying to say when we want our partner to be “vulnerable”?

Merriam-Webster defines being vulnerable as “easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally or emotionally” and “open to attack, harm, or damage”!!! vulnerable, adj, from Late Latin vulnerabilis “wounding,” from Latin vulnerare “to wound” 

Ain’t nobody got time for THAT!  Who wants to be hurt?  Or open to attack?

Instead of saying vulnerable think about what you really mean and choose a better word.  How about honest?  Available?  True?  Trustworthy?  Free?  Divine?

It’s a beautiful thing when a woman is free to be herself without the self-objectification of too much makeup, tight clothes or plastic surgery.  The fairytaleism can get to the best of us ladies when we’re constantly bombarded with false images of how we should be and constant reminders of what’s wrong with us (too fat/thin, too old/young, too dark/light, too this/that).

And it’s equally amazing when a man can be certain he can let down the superheroism he carries to handle the weight of the world.  You’re not a p@$$y if you admit that you have more than two emotions!  News flash: you’re human… we all feel emotions.  We need our relationships (intimate, professional, familial) to balance those emotions and help us perfect our character…

That’s what we’re really talking about when we say vulnerable, right?  We mean the opposite of wounding and harming each other.  That’s actually what we want to move away from!  We don’t want the pain and scabs from not feeling we can be ourselves without rejection or fear.  We’re really talking about LOVE!

What if we used a more culturally relevant word?  There ARE culturally relevant ways to practice freedom, openness and bliss.  Beyond the body there is only one Spirit.  What we are seeking through our intimate relationships is unity with the Divine.

What is true love and how can it be discovered?  

“The ritual of “Hoeing the Earth” relates to the preparation of the human mind and body, cultivating physical health in order to allow higher spiritual growth.  The “Hoe is the symbol of Love, therefore, the earth must be carefully “cultivated (prepared to receive spirituality), through the practice of selfless love of others and developing devotion to God (Divine Love).”  ~Dr. Muata Ashby

Sexuality is the urge for unity and self-discovery and is one of the strongest physical urges we can experience.  But there’s a difference between hoeing and hoin’ ;).  In Tantrism, sexual symbolism is used so often because of its powerful imagery of the opposites of Creation.  From Shiva and Shakti to Buddha and his consort, sexual imagery is used to convey the principle of Unity and all encompassing divinity. (photo: Alice Popkorn)

 

One of the oldest myths of transcendental love is the story of Ast and Asar.  Asar and Isis ruled Egypt wisely and were envied by Asar’s brother Set.  When Asar’s brother conspired to kill him, it was Ast who wandered the land of Egypt for her husband’s body.  After Set dismembered his brother’s body into 14 pieces and scattered Asar across the Nile, Ast searched the land again and used her magic to reassemble 13 of the pieces of her husband.  The 14th piece, Asar’s phallus, was eaten by fish in the Nile and could not be reassembled.  Ast transforms herself into a sparrow, replicates a phallus for her husband and (through her magic) revives the sexual member of Asar to become pregnant by him eventually giving birth to Heru (the God of Light, Wisdom, Spiritual Vision and Protection).

(photo: Tanya Varga)

If each individual regarded the other as divinity and worshiped each other as such we could experience the expansion of the heart (awet-ab) for which we long…  This expansion will inflate into our astral body (Ka) and the spiritual body (Sahu) and expand our consciousness to a higher fulfillment and bliss where we will not be wounded/damaged/attacked/vulnerable.

So let’s mean what we say and say what we mean beautiful people!  I’m ready for freedom and bliss… and Divine Unity.  Are you?

Nya Akoma (Take Heart)